kirbydoeslife asked: Hey man. Hope you get better soon. Was wondering why you stopped posting.
Thanks for stopping by to ask.
I’m a proud man, I hate to admit when I’m not strong enough or good enough to do something.
A year ago I was involved in an incident at work that has left me with lingering PTSD. It’s one of the worst and most prevalent dangers in my profession. And as with any psychological injury, admitting you have it is often seen as admission of weakness and inability.
The past year has been filled with highs and lows. Finishing my first half was yoga balls out the coolest thing I’ve done in a long time. But as that high wore off I sank deep and spent the majority of my summer lying to everyone. I would say I was going out on some vulgar training regimen so no one would want to join me; i was hiding under my desk smoking marlboros and crying. I’ve alienated myself from the few people that ever came around.
I tried counseling but it was just an exercise in rabbit trailing. There just are not very many people adequately trained to address the physical and mental issues of PTSD. It makes me appreciate the job of the VA and fear the lives of returning soldiers.
Fast forward to a few weeks ago. I went to my doctor and have started new medications (antidepressants and anti anxiety) and I have been responding well. I went to IronMan Louisville as a medical volunteer and then spent some soul time in Mammoth Cave National Park. Tonight I may be able to go to sleep.
I’m 7 weeks out from IronMan FL and I feel good. I don’t know that I will finish but I have reserved my condo and purchased a new Skins tri suit. I would never let a lack of training and preparation stop me from completing something awesome.
I’ll be posting more, especially my fight to 170 and my training. Always with a whimsical pic and short narrative so as not to bog down any valuable Tumblr browsing.
Thank for the gentle accountability and encouragement.